Twinfessions Collection #1

I am a twin.  Identical, even.  So I thought I should have a little fun with it.  I've been making these Twinfessions on my twitter account, but decided to collect them here for you all to enjoy.  Let's see how long I can keep these going.

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Twinfession #1: Sometimes when I don't want to talk to someone, I tell them I have a twin. It's not technically lying.

Twinfession #2: Sometimes I wake up at 3am and punch myself in the face, just to keep my brother in Atlanta on his toes.

Twinfession #3: In 4th grade my brother and I switched places and never switched back. No one has noticed.

Twinfession #4: Since we have the same genes, my kids refer to their uncle as "Daddy 2". His can call me "Cool dad."

Twinfession #5: I don't know. What's it like NOT being a twin?

Twinfession #6: Once my brother was sick for Halloween . I just went up to every door twice and told them I was him.

Twinfession #7: My older brother is like a canary in a mine; if he ever gets a random pain, I know I’ve got 3 minutes.

Twinfession #8: When one of us dies, the other will experience The Quickening. There can be only one.

Twinfession #9: If you hit me, my brother will not feel it. But you will when I hit you back.

Twinfession #10: Whenever someone picks a fight, we inform them that we used to be triplets and let their imagination run.

Twinfession #11: Twins are just when a drunk fairy forgets to take the original baby when leaving a changeling. I'm looking at you, Bob.

Twinfession #12: Triplets are when a doppelganger and changeling become friends.

Twinfession #13: Yes, twins can share thoughts. But all my brother shares are cat pics.

Twinfession #14: When we were really young, our mom would just guess which one was which. I wonder which one I *really* am.

Twinfession #15: Identical twins consider fraternal twins to be twinposters.